Dressing like "Old People"

Entertaining some octogenarians to tea one afternoon, I found myself reflecting on “the way old people dress”. There is definitely a distinctive way in which many older people dress and it’s definitely very different from the way I and most of my contemporaries do.

So, I began to worry, now I’ve reached 50, how on earth I could possibly manage the drastic transition from my current stripey jeans, red boots and purple sweater to the traditional ‘old people’ look and when (and how!) would I make that vast transformation? Would I make it all at once (risking the mirth of my friends) or make it very gradually, adding first the button-up cardigan, the embroidered blouse and then maybe the A line skirt? And would it feel natural when I did so? This was all very worrying. I couldn’t imagine myself at all dressed like elderly ladies I see in the street … how could I look like that and still be me?

So, how and when did my elderly relatives make their transition to “old people’s clothes”? When, for example, did my late father start wearing battered tweed jackets, checked viyella shirts and muddy coloured ties? Suddenly, it dawned on me that he didn’t. I had got it all wrong.

“Old people” haven’t made some marked switch of wardrobes. They are simply wearing a mildly (and heavily individualistically) evolved version of what they were wearing when they were in their 30’s – maybe even in their 20’s, i.e. they are not wearing “old people’s clothes” but rather “evolved 1950’s style” clothes just as I (when I reach 80 plus) will be wearing my own individualised version of “evolved 1980’s style” clothes. Only, by then, people my age will see the latter as “what really old people wear”! Ouch!

So, my theory now is that there comes a point in most people’s lives (maybe when we are in our early 30’s) when we unconsciously stop bothering to follow the wild swings of fashion (if we ever did so) and the style of that particular decade stays with us (in rough and vaguely recognisable format) for the rest of our lives.

That’s a relief. I now know that clothes (like everything else) won’t feel “old” when I get there – they’ll just be normal for me.